New Baby Announcements Pages & Tags
Post by Jane on

So, yes, that sounds stupid. Of course you're going to let people help, why wouldn't you?

Because you won't.

I've just had a running argument with my OH, something that has been mirrored with the other new parent couples I know. I've tried to help, and they've yelled at me for helping. Apparently, new parents should be able to do everything, and needing help is a weakness, a sign of failure.

That right there, is bullshit.

Thing is, I've been guilty of this too, when my own parents tried to help, I got really defensive. I clearly knew what I was doing, after all, we'd had our first son for three weeks!

You will need help. Accept it. It's not a sign of weakness. It's not something to be ashamed about.

And when you realize you've just not been accepting help, pass on the message to other new parents, so they can ignore it also :)

You'll feel overwhelmed and all the literature will be for the mother. As a man I found I struggled, no one told me I would need anything other than sleep and that was wrong. One important thing I found was that everyone else forgot what it's like. Each week is so different folks with 3 year olds were out of ouch with those first weeks. Feel free to PM me with any questions or feelings.

Being helpful is good, but if you open the door people will start to tell you everything about your baby. In my experience so far it is not about letting people help, but about learning to ask for help when you need it. And yes, if you come out of the blue to try telling me how to raise my baby I will yell at you.